The Meaning of Things - 8-27-07

Greetings, World! The Big Ninja is open for business, er - the business of thought exchange, the business of displaying feats of verbal kung fu wit and strength, the business of dumping random thought flow into my computer to prevent perilous drops in dopamine or seratonin levels, or whatever chemical it is that keeps me on a nice wacky even keel. Perhaps I should have called this spot the Pressure Valve. Hmmm... anyway. So why did I call this blot spot "Your Kung Fu Is Weak"? In a phrase: my little (or rather younger) brother. Has to be among the top 3 hilarious people I know on earth. He drops this line from time to time, at the moment of maximum hilarity, and it just cracks me up. So instead of asking him, Who's the Man? I have adopted the phrase/question: Who's the Big Ninja?

OK so here comes my first random cranial output. Today is one of those days where you just peer longingly into your cup of coffee, and somehow expect or weakly hope for answers to life to reside in the next sip. I have a few different sayings that just seem to bring meaning, or rather explain the absence of meaning, to many things that happen in life:

1. "It is what it is." It's there. You can't really change it. It just happened. You just-have-to-deal. The rules have been laid down. The eggs have been dropped. Unstoppable forces of nature have caused seemingly unpreventable events to occur. It's like when you step in fresh crap. Why did the dog have to crap right here on the edge of my front lawn? Why was I stupid enough to not see it? Where was the stinkin' owner of said canine at the time he/she was pinching off the last terd? Ask all the questions you want, buddy. Ain't gonna do no good. It's there, on your shoe, it smells beyond awful, it's instantly and nastily (is that a word? it is now) worked it's way into every crevace of your tread. You don't even want these shoes any more, it's so nasty. I also refer to this as I2WI2, stated as "I-squared W I-squared". However, there's no verbal efficiency in shortening it at all, so most the time I just revert to saying "It is what it is." I2WI2 is useful for text messaging, but that's about it.

2. "It's all fun and games til the flying monkeys attack." First time I watched the wizard of oz, it was in black and white, and I was perhaps 6 years old. The flying monkeys ruined my sleep for a week or so, maybe more, but I probably blocked that out and don't know it. Creeped me out completely. But isn't life like that? It's all good in da hood until BAM! Something goes crazy! SomeONE goes crazy! The bus comes by while you are standing in the street! Or, you have just lost track of time, and, standing on the curb near the bus stop, you are oblivious to its approach, while someone (who has the bus schedule and) zooms in to push you right into the street at the last second - in front of the bus, as it's doing 35 mph. Whack! You get hammered to crap'n back. Nothing you can do. Coulda been on accident, coulda been on purpose, can't really tell. Things just happen. In other words, the flying monkeys attack.

3. "You know what?" This tee-up phrase is nice-speak for either: a) a preamble to ...hey, clueless wonder, you who can't find your butt with both hands, I with my iron-toed boot am about to help you identify the precise geography of its location, or b) a preamble to ...hey, I really like you, so I want to let you in on something really good about you, or me, or us, or the world, but something really good. In either case, I find that tact, whether possibly wasted on the dullness of the hearer or not, does me therapeutically immense good. And I find that if I am doing good overall, I am a nicer guy, and even when waxing a bit hostile, don't revert to blunt instruments when I have a moment of hostility. Not that you particularly care about me and that and temperment issues. Sorry about the narcissistic moment.

Ok that about raps it up for now. Seems like I am out of gas. Time for another cup of coffee. Like I need the caffeine.

:^/

Thanks for playing.